Walmart Breakup Letter

Walmart Breakup Letter

Dear Walmart,

Although we have been great companions over the years, it it with great sadness I must move on. We have had many great times thanks to your low prices, selection of delectable candies and discount grooming product’s. Your tempting bargain bins full of reasonably priced DVD’s and giant household cleaner bonus pack displays always hit me in a special place. There are many reasons that we must part ways, with your checkout lines being the biggest one. No matter what time of day or week, there are never enough checkouts open. There are over twenty checkouts at each of your locations, and I have yet to see more than 50% of them open at any one time, including Christmas Eve. The dilemma of choosing the 10 items or less line which in theory should be quick and efficient or risking waiting in line behind families doing their weekly shopping becomes frustrating to say the least. My main issue being that no one seems to care. The rest of the associates just saunter around as if brainwashed to wander into nowhere. It’s upsetting, we’ve been to so many places together. From your S.R. 535 Location in Lake Buena Vista Florida and the late night drunken booze runs, to your Asda location in Reading England for Cadbury candies, we’ve had some great times. Please don’t call me or text me, because we must make a clean break. I will leave your belongings on your doorstep including your box of chewing gum, Barry Manilow Greatest hits collection and Metamucil tablets.




comments user

AMEN! I have tried to “cut the cord”, but it is just too damn convenient.

I tell myself… never again, but my laziness ropes me back in to the Big W.

Copyright 2021 Brad Ridler.
Brad Ridler